remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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