I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
