It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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