Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
