I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cockslap morals
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
