nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize