She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
