apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
