Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
