he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
