I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
