The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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