Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
