I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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