Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Two words: blizzard sex
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize