We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i want to swaddle you in tequila
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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