Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
