You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
