we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
