i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dear god my vagina.
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