too bad you live with your parents still
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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