she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
