New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
