Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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