you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
