I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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