i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
