im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
