after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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