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Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
