apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
and you fell through a lawn chair
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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