i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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