You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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