Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize