there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
