On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Houston, we have a blender
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
