At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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