i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
