glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I FOUND THE LEGS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
