Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i think i scared a bird with my dick
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
