Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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