so explain again why im purple
no
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
