the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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