no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
