K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
