hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize