A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
And then he peed in my hair
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