dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
