I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
