I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
