she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
