i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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