Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it's great music for shaving your balls
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
