Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You can't just leave with hair like that
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize