oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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