okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
