Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
