do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
