I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
