So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
