Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
