Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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