you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
