apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
