Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is wine microwaveable?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
